《5 midnight sun午夜阳光》第60章

e　talking　at　once。　It　s　just　a　hum　a　buzzing　of　voices　in　the　background。　Until　I　focus　on　one　voice；　and　then　what　they　re　thinking　is　clear。　Most　of　the　time　I　tune　it　all　out　it　can　be　very　distracting。　And　then　it　s　easier　to　seem　normal；　I　grimaced　when　I　m　not　accidentally　answering　someone　s　thoughts　rather　than　their　words。　Why　do　you　think　you　can　t　hear　me？　she　wondered。　I　gave　her　another　truth　and　another　analogy。　I　don　t　know；　I　admitted。　The　only　guess　I　have　is　that　maybe　your　mind　doesn　t　work　the　same　way　the　rest　of　theirs　do。　Like　your　thoughts　are　on　the　AM　frequency　and　I　m　only　getting　FM。　I　realized　that　she　would　not　like　this　analogy。　had　me　smiling。　She　didn　t　disappoint。　The　anticipation　of　her　reaction　I　m　a　My　mind　doesn　t　work　right？　she　asked；　her　voice　rising　with　chagrin。　freak？　Ah；　the　irony　again。　I　hear　voices　in　my　mind　and　you　re　worried　that　you　re　the　freak。　I　laughed。　She　understood　all　the　small　things；　and　yet　the　big　ones　she　got　backwards。　Always　the　wrong　instincts　Bella　was　gnawing　on　her　lip；　and　the　crease　between　her　eyes　was　etched　deep。　Don　t　worry；　I　reassured　her。　It　s　just　a　theory　And　there　was　a　more　important　theory　to　be　discussed。　I　was　anxious　to　get　it　over　with。　Each　passing　second　was　beginning　to　feel　more　and　more　like　borrowed　time。　Which　brings　us　back　to　you；　I　said；　divided　in　two；　both　anxious　and　reluctant。　She　sighed；　still　chewing　her　lip　I　worried　that　she　would　hurt　herself。　She　stared　into　my　eyes；　her　face　troubled。　Aren　t　we　past　all　the　evasions　now？　I　asked　quietly。　She　looked　down；　struggling　with　some　internal　dilemma。　Suddenly；　she　stiffened　and　her　eyes　flew　wide　open。　Fear　flashed　across　her　face　for　the　first　time。　Holy　crow！　she　gasped。
I　panicked。　What　had　she　seen？　How　had　I　frightened　her？　Then　she　shouted；　Slow　down！　What　s　wrong？　I　didn　t　understand　where　her　terror　was　ing　from。　You　re　going　a　hundred　miles　an　hour！　she　yelled　at　me。　She　flashed　a　look　out　the　window；　and　recoiled　from　the　dark　trees　racing　past　us。　This　little　thing；　just　a　bit　of　speed；　had　her　shouting　in　fear？　I　rolled　my　eyes。　Relax；　Bella。　Are　you　trying　to　kill　us？　she　demanded；　her　voice　high　and　tight。　We　re　not　going　to　crash；　I　promised　her。　She　sucked　in　a　sharp　breath；　and　then　spoke　in　a　slightly　more　level　tone。　are　you　in　such　a　hurry？　I　always　drive　like　this。　I　met　her　gaze；　amused　by　her　shocked　expression。　Keep　your　eyes　on　the　road！　she　shouted。　I　ve　never　been　in　an　accident；　Bella。　I　ve　never　even　gotten　a　ticket。　I　grinned　at　her　and　touched　my　forehead。　It　made　it　even　more　ical　the　absurdity　of　being　able　to　joke　with　her　about　something　so　secret　and　strange。　Built　in　radar　detector。　Very　funny；　she　said　sarcastically；　her　voice　more　frightened　than　angry。　Charlie　s　a　cop；　remember？　I　was　raised　to　abide　by　traffic　laws。　Besides；　if　you　turn　us　into　a　Volvo　pretzel　around　a　tree　trunk；　you　can　probably　just　walk　away。　Probably；　I　repeated；　and　than　laughed　without　humor。　Yes；　we　would　fare　quite　differently　in　a　car　accident。　She　was　right　to　be　afraid；　despite　my　driving　abilities　But　you　can　t。　With　a　sigh；　I　let　the　car　drift　to　a　crawl。　She　eyed　the　speedometer。　Almost。　I　hate　driving　slow；　I　muttered；　but　let　the　Happy？　Why　Was　this　still　too　fast　for　her？　needle　slide　another　notch　down。　This　is　slow？　she　asked。　Enough　mentary　on　my　driving；　I　said　impatiently。　How　many　times　had　she　dodged　my　question　now？　Three　times？　Four？　Were　her　speculations　that　horrific？　I　had　to　know　immediately。　I　m　still　waiting　for　your　latest　theory。　She　bit　her　lip　again；　and　her　expression　became　upset；　almost　pained。　I　reigned　in　my　impatience　and　softened　my　voice。　I　didn　t　want　her　to　be
distressed。　I　won　t　laugh；　I　promised；　wishing　that　it　was　only　embarrassment　that　made　her　unwilling　to　talk。　I　m　more　afraid　that　you　ll　be　angry　with　me；　she　whispered。　I　forced　my　voice　to　stay　even。　Pretty　much；　yeah。　She　looked　down；　refusing　to　meet　my　eyes。　Go　ahead；　I　encouraged。　Her　voice　was　small。　I　don　t　know　how　to　start。　I　remembered　her　words　before　dinner。　The　seconds　passed。　Is　it　that　bad？　Why　don　t　you　start　at　the　beginning？　You　said　you　didn　t　e　up　with　this　on　your　own。　No；　she　agreed；　and　then　was　silent　again。　I　thought　about　things　that　might　have　inspired　her。　book？　A　movie？　What　got　you　started　a　I　should　have　looked　through　her　collections　when　she　was　out　of　the　house。　I　had　no　idea　if　Bram　Stoker　or　Anne　Rice　was　there　in　her　stack　of　worn　paperbacks　No；　she　said　again。　It　was　Saturday；　at　the　beach。　I　hadn　t　expected　that。　The　local　gossip　about　us　had　never　strayed　into　anything　too　bizarre　or　too　precise。　Was　there　a　new　rumor　I　d　missed？　Bella　peeked　up　from　her　hands　and　saw　the　surprise　on　my　face。　I　ran　into　an　old　family　friend　Jacob　Black；　she　went　on。　have　been　friends　since　I　was　a　baby。　His　dad　and　Charlie　Jacob　Black　the　name　was　not　familiar；　and　yet　it　reminded　me　of　something　some　time；　long　ago　I　stared　out　of　the　windshield；　flipping　through　memories　to　find　the　connection。　His　dad　is　one　of　the　Quileute　elders；　she　said。　Jacob　Black。　Ephraim　Black。　A　descendant；　no　doubt。　It　was　as　bad　as　it　could　get。　She　knew　the　truth。　My　mind　was　flying　through　the　ramifications　as　the　car　flew　around　the　dark　curves　in　the　road；　my　body　rigid　with　anguish　motionless　except　for　the　small；　automatic　actions　it　took　to　steer　the　car。　She　knew　the　truth。　But　if　she　d　learned　the　truth　Saturday　then　she　d　known　it　all　evening　long　and　yet
We　went　for　a　walk；　she　went　on。　And　he　was　telling　me　about　some　old　legends　trying　to　scare　me；　I　think。　He　told　me　one　She　stopped　short；　but　there　was　no　need　for　her　qualms　now；　I　knew　what　she　was　going　to　say。　The　only　mystery　left　was　why　she　was　here　with　me　now。　Go　on；　I　said。　About　vampires；　she　breathed；　the　words　less　than　a　whisper。　Somehow；　it　was　even　worse　than　knowing　that　she　knew；　hearing　her　speak　the　word　aloud。　I　flinched　at　the　sound　of　it；　and　then　controlled　myself　again。　And　you　immediately　thought　of　me？　I　asked。　No。　He　mentioned　your　family。　How　ironic　that　it　would　be　Ephraim　s　own　progeny　that　would　violate　the　treaty　he　d　vowed　to　uphold。　A　grandson；　or　grea