《5 midnight sun午夜阳光》第57章

ould　I　say　nothing；　unable　to　decide？　We　sat　in　silence　while　the　waitress　replenished　her　supply　of　soda。　Well；　go　ahead；　I　said；　jaw　locked；　when　she　was　gone。　Why　are　you　in　Port　Angeles？　That　was　too　easy　a　question　for　her。　It　gave　away　nothing；　while　my　answer；　if　truthful；　would　give　away　much　too　much。　Let　her　reveal　something　first。　Next；　I　said。　But　that　s　the　easiest　one！　Next；　I　said　again。　She　was　frustrated　by　my　refusal。　She　looked　away　from　me；　down　to　her　food。　Slowly；　thinking　hard；　she　took　a　bite　and　chewed　with　deliberation。　She　washed　it　down　with　more　coke；　and　then　finally　looked　up　at　me。　Her　eyes　were　narrow　with　suspicion。　Okay　then；　she　said。　Let　s　say；　hypothetically；　of　course；　that　someone　could　know　what　people　are　thinking；　read　minds；　you　know　with　just　a　few　exceptions。　It　could　be　worse。　This　explained　that　little　halfsmile　in　the　car。　She　was　quick　no　one　else　had　ever　guessed　this　about　me。　Except　for　Carlisle；　and　it　had　been　rather　obvious　then；　in　the　beginning；　when　I　d　answered　all　his　thoughts　as　if　he　d　spoken　them　to　me。　He　d　understood　before　I　had
This　question　wasn　t　so　bad。　While　it　was　clear　that　she　knew　that　there　was　something　wrong　with　me；　was　not　as　serious　as　it　could　have　been。　Mindreading　was；　after　all；　not　a　facet　of　the　vampire　cannon。　I　went　along　with　her　hypothesis。　Just　one　exception；　I　corrected。　Hypothetically。　She　fought　a　smile　my　vague　honesty　pleased　her。　All　right；　with　one　exception；　then。　How　does　that　work？　What　are　the　limitations？　How　would　that　someone　find　someone　else　at　exactly　the　right　time？　How　would　he　know　that　she　was　in　trouble？　Hypothetically？　Sure。　Her　lips　twitched；　and　her　liquid　brown　eyes　were　eager。　If　that　someone　Well；　I　hesitated。　Let　s　call　him　Joe；　she　suggested。　I　had　to　smile　at　her　enthusiasm。　Did　she　really　think　the　truth　would　be　a　good　thing？　If　my　secrets　were　pleasant；　why　would　I　keep　them　from　her？　Joe；　then；　I　agreed。　If　Joe　had　been　paying　attention；　the　timing　wouldn　t　have　needed　to　be　quite　so　exact。　I　shook　my　head　and　repressed　a　shudder　at　the　thought　of　how　close　I　had　been　to　being　too　late　today。　Only　you　could　get　into　trouble　in　a　town　this　small。　You　would　have　devastated　their　crime　rate　statistics　for　a　decade；　you　know。　Her　lips　turned　down　at　the　corners；　and　pouted　out。　hypothetical　case。　I　laughed　at　her　irritation。　Her　lips；　her　skin　They　looked　so　soft。　I　wanted　to　touch　them。　press　my　fingertip　against　the　corner　of　her　frown　and　turn　it　up。　My　skin　would　be　repellent　to　her。　I　wanted　to　Impossible。　We　were　speaking　of　a　Yes；　we　were；　I　said；　returning　to　the　conversation　before　I　could　depress　myself　too　thoroughly。　Shall　we　call　you　Jane　？　She　leaned　across　the　table　toward　me；　all　humor　and　irritation　gone　from　her　wide　eyes。　How　did　you　know？　she　asked；　her　voice　low　and　intense。　Should　I　tell　her　the　truth？　I　wanted　to　tell　her。　face。　And；　if　so；　what　portion？　I　wanted　to　deserve　the　trust　I　could　still　see　on　her　You　can　trust　me；　you　know；　she　whispered；　and　she　reached　one　hand　forward　as　if　to　touch　my　hands　where　they　rested　on　top　of　the　empty　table　before　me。　I　pulled　them　back　hating　the　thought　of　her　reaction　to　my　frigid　stone　skin　and　she　dropped　her　hand。
I　knew　that　I　could　trust　her　with　protecting　my　secrets；　she　was　entirely　trustworthy；　good　to　the　core。　But　I　couldn　t　trust　her　not　to　be　horrified　by　them。　She　should　be　horrified。　The　truth　was　horror。　I　don　t　know　if　I　have　a　choice　anymore；　I　murmured。　I　remembered　that　I　d　once　teased　her　by　calling　her　exceptionally　unobservant。　Offended　her；　if　I　d　been　judging　her　expressions　correctly。　Well；　I　could　right　that　one　injustice；　at　least。　I　was　wrong　you　re　much　more　observant　than　I　gave　you　credit　for。　And；　though　she　might　not　realize　it；　I　d　given　her　plenty　of　credit　already。　She　missed　nothing。　I　thought　you　were　always　right；　she　said；　smiling　as　she　teased　me。　I　used　to　be。　I　used　to　know　what　I　was　doing。　course。　And　now　everything　was　chaos　and　tumult。　I　used　to　be　always　sure　of　my　Not　if　the　Yet　I　wouldn　t　trade　it。　I　didn　t　want　the　life　that　made　sense。　chaos　meant　that　I　could　be　with　Bella。　I　was　wrong　about　you　on　one　other　thing　as　well；　I　went　on；　setting　the　record　straight　on　another　point。　You　re　not　a　mag　for　accidents　that　s　not　a　broad　enough　classification。　You　are　a　mag　for　trouble。　If　there　is　anything　dangerous　within　a　tenmile　radius；　it　will　invariably　find　you。　Why　her？　What　had　she　done　to　deserve　any　of　this？　Bella　s　face　turned　serious　again。　And　you　put　yourself　into　that　category？　Honesty　was　more　important　in　regards　to　this　question　than　any　other。　Unequivocally。　Her　eyes　narrowed　slightly　not　suspicious　now；　but　oddly　concerned。　She　reached　her　hand　across　the　table　again；　slowly　and　deliberately。　I　pulled　my　hands　an　inch　away　from　her；　but　she　ignored　that；　determined　to　touch　me。　I　held　my　breath　not　because　of　her　scent　now；　but　because　of　the　sudden；　overwhelming　tension。　Fear。　My　skin　would　disgust　her。　She　would　run　away。　She　brushed　her　fingertips　lightly　across　the　back　of　my　hand。　The　heat　of　her　gentle；　willing　touch　was　like　nothing　I　d　ever　felt　before。　It　was　almost　pure　pleasure。　Would　have　been；　except　for　my　fear。　I　watched　her　face　as　she　felt　the　cold　stone　of　my　skin；　still　unable　to　breathe。　A　halfsmile　turned　up　the　corners　of　her　lips。　Thank　you；　she　said；　meeting　my　stare　with　an　intense　gaze　of　her　own。　twice　now。　That　s　Her　soft　fingers　lingered　on　my　hand　as　if　they　found　it　pleasant　to　be　there。　I　answered　her　as　casually　as　I　was　able。　She　grimaced　at　that；　but　nodded。　I　pulled　my　hands　out　from　under　hers。　As　exquisite　as　her　touch　felt；　I　wasn　t　going　to　wait　for　the　magic　of　her　tolerance　to　pass；　to　turn　to　revulsion。　I　hid　my　hands　under　the　table。　Let　s　not　try　for　three；　agreed？
I　read　her　eyes；　though　her　mind　was　silent；　I　could　perceive　both　trust　and　wonder　there。　I　realized　in　that　moment　that　I　wanted　to　answer　her　questions。　Not　because　I　owed　it　to　her。　Not　because　I　wanted　her　to　trust　me。　I　wanted　her　to　know　me。　I　followed　you　to　Port　Angeles；　I　told　her；　the　words　spilling　out　too　quickly　for　me　to　edit　them。　I　knew　th