《首发偶发空缺 (临时空缺)》第113章

control　over　her　life。　Twice　lately；　Terri　had　said　to　Kay；　‘They　ain’　takin’　Robbie；　I　won’　lerrem；’　and　these　had　not　been　impotent　railings　against　fate；　but　statements　of　intent。
‘I　took　’im　ter　nursery　yest’day；’　she　told　Kay；　who　had　made　the　mistake　of　looking　astonished。　‘Why’s　tha’　so　fuckin’　shockin’？　Aren’　I　good　enough　ter　go　ter　the　fuckin’　nurs’ry？’
If　Bellchapel’s　door　was　slammed　shut　against　Terri；　Kay　was　sure　it　would　blow　to　pieces　that　delicate　structure　they　were　trying　to　build　out　of　the　wreckage　of　a　life。　Terri　seemed　to　have　a　visceral　fear　of　Pagford　that　Kay　did　not　understand。
‘I　’ate　that　fuckin’　place；’　she　had　said；　when　Kay　had　mentioned　it　in　passing。
Beyond　the　fact　that　her　dead　grandmother　had　lived　there；　Kay　knew　nothing　of　Terri’s　history　with　the　town；　but　she　was　afraid　that　if　Terri　was　asked　to　travel　there　weekly　for　her　methadone　her　self…control　would　crumble；　and　with　it　the　family’s　fragile　new　safety。
Colin　had　taken　over　from　Parminder；　explaining　the　history　of　the　Fields；　Kay　nodded；　bored；　and　said　‘mm’；　but　her　thoughts　were　a　long　way　away。
Colin　was　deeply　flattered　by　the　way　this　attractive　young　woman　was　hanging　on　his　every　word。　He　felt　calmer　tonight　than　at　any　point　since　he　had　read　that　awful　post；　which　was　gone　from　the　website。　None　of　the　cataclysms　that　Colin　had　imagined　in　the　small　hours　had　e　to　pass。　He　was　not　sacked。　There　was　no　angry　mob　outside　his　front　door。　Nobody　on　the　Pagford　Council　website；　or　indeed　anywhere　else　on　the　inter　（he　had　performed　several　Google　searches）；　was　demanding　his　arrest　or　incarceration。
Fats　walked　back　past　the　open　door；　spooning　yoghurt　into　his　mouth　as　he　went。　He　glanced　into　the　room；　and　for　a　fleeting　moment　met　Colin’s　gaze。　Colin　immediately　lost　the　thread　of　what　he　had　been　saying。
‘…　and　…　yes；　well；　that’s　it　in　a　nutshell；’　he　finished　lamely。　He　glanced　towards　Tessa　for　reassurance；　but　his　wife　was　staring　stonily　into　space。　Colin　was　a　little　hurt；　he　would　have　thought　that　Tessa　would　be　glad　to　see　him　feeling　so　much　better；　so　much　more　in　control；　after　their　wretched；　sleepless　night。　Dreadful　swooping　sensations　of　dread　were　agitating　his　stomach；　but　he　drew　much　fort　from　the　proximity　of　his　fellow　underdog　and　scapegoat　Parminder；　and　from　the　sympathetic　attention　of　the　attractive　social　worker。
Unlike　Kay；　Tessa　had　listened　to　every　word　that　Colin　had　just　said　about　the　Fields’　right　to　remain　joined　to　Pagford。　There　was；　in　her　opinion；　no　conviction　behind　his　words。　He　wanted　to　believe　what　Barry　had　believed；　and　he　wanted　to　defeat　the　Mollisons；　because　that　was　what　Barry　had　wanted。　Colin　did　not　like　Krystal　Weedon；　but　Barry　had　liked　her；　so　he　assumed　that　there　was　more　worth　in　her　than　he　could　see。　Tessa　knew　her　husband　to　be　a　strange　mixture　of　arrogance　and　humility；　of　unshakeable　conviction　and　insecurity。
They’re　pletely　deluded；　Tessa　thought；　looking　at　the　other　three；　who　were　poring　over　some　graph　that　Parminder　had　extracted　from　Kay’s　notes。　They　think　they’ll　reverse　sixty　years　of　anger　and　resentment　with　a　few　sheets　of　statistics。　None　of　them　was　Barry。　He　had　been　a　living　example　of　what　they　proposed　in　theory：　the　advancement；　through　education　from　poverty　to　affluence；　from　powerlessness　and　dependency　to　valuable　contributor　to　society。　Did　they　not　see　what　hopeless　advocates　they　were；　pared　to　the　man　who　had　died？
‘People　are　definitely　getting　irritable　with　the　Mollisons　trying　to　run　everything；’　Colin　was　saying。
‘I　do　think；’　said　Kay；　‘that　they’ll　be　hard…pushed；　if　they　read　this　stuff；　to　pretend　that　the　clinic　isn’t　doing　crucial　work。’
‘Not　everybody’s　forgotten　Barry；　on　the　council；’　said　Parminder；　in　a　slightly　shaky　voice。
Tessa　realized　that　her　greasy　fingers　were　groping　vainly　in　space。　While　the　others　had　talked；　she　had　single…handedly　finished　the　entire　bowl　of　crisps。
VII
It　was　a　bright；　balmy　morning；　and　the　puting　lab　at　Winterdown　prehensive　became　stuffy　as　lunchtime　approached；　the　dirty　windows　speckling　the　dusty　monitors　with　distracting　spots　of　light。　Even　though　there　was　no　Fats　or　Gaia　here　to　distract　him；　Andrew　Price　could　not　concentrate。　He　could　think　of　nothing　but　what　he　had　overheard　his　parents　discussing　the　previous　evening。
They　had　been　talking；　quite　seriously；　about　moving　to　Reading；　where　Ruth’s　sister　and　brother…in…law　lived。　With　his　ear　turned　towards　the　open　kitchen　door；　Andrew　had　hovered　in　the　tiny　dark　hall　and　listened：　Simon；　it　appeared；　had　been　offered　a　job；　or　the　possibility　of　a　job；　by　the　uncle　whom　Andrew　and　Paul　barely　knew；　because　Simon　disliked　him　so　much。
‘It’s　less　money；’　Simon　had　said。
‘You　don’t　know　that。　He　hasn’t　said—’
‘Bound　to　be。　And　it’ll　be　more　expensive　all　round；　living　there。’
Ruth　made　a　nonmital　noise。　Scarcely　daring　to　breathe　in　the　hall；　Andrew　could　tell；　by　the　mere　fact　that　his　mother　was　not　rushing　to　agree　with　Simon；　that　she　wanted　to　go。
Andrew　found　it　impossible　to　imagine　his　parents　in　any　house　but　Hilltop　House；　or　against　any　backdrop　but　Pagford。　He　had　taken　it　for　granted　that　they　would　remain　there　for　ever。　He；　Andrew；　would　leave　one　day　for　London；　but　Simon　and　Ruth　would　remain　rooted　to　the　hillside　like　trees；　until　they　died。
He　had　crept　back　upstairs　to　his　bedroom　and　stared　out　of　the　window　at　the　twinkling　lights　of　Pagford；　cupped　in　the　deep　black　hollow　between　the　hills。　He　felt　as　though　he　had　never　seen　the　view　before。　Somewhere　down　there；　Fats　was　smoking　in　his　attic　room；　probably　looking　at　porn　on　his　puter。　Gaia　was　there　too；　absorbed　in　the　mysterious　rites　of　her　gender。　It　occurred　to　Andrew　that　she　had　been　through　this；　she　had　been　torn　away　from　the　place　she　knew　and　transplanted。　They　had　something　profoundly　in　mon　at　last；　there　was　almost　melancholy　pleasure　in　the　idea　that；　in　leaving；　he　would　share　something　with　her。
But　she　had　not　caused　her　own　displacement。　With　a　squirming　unease　in　his　guts；　he　had　picked