《夜与日》第117章


as you say; it’s out of the question—this friendship; 
he falls in love with me。 I don’t want that。 Still;” 
she added; “I believe you exaggerate; love’s not everything; 
marriage itself is only one of the things—” They 
had reached the main thoroughfare; and stood looking at 
the omnibuses and passersby; who seemed; for the moment; 
to illustrate what Katharine had said of the diversity 
of human interests。 For both of them it had bee 
one of those moments of extreme detachment; when it 
seems unnecessary ever again to shoulder the burden of 
happiness and selfassertive existence。 Their neighbors 
were wele to their possessions。 
“I don’t lay down any rules;”’ said Mary; recovering herself 
first; as they turned after a long pause of this description。 
“All I say is that you should know what you’re 
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about—for certain; but;” she added; “I expect you do。” 
At the same time she was profoundly perplexed; not 
only by what she knew of the arrangements for Katharine’s 
marriage; but by the impression which she had of her; 
there on her arm; dark and inscrutable。 
They walked back again and reached the steps which 
led up to Mary’s flat。 Here they stopped and paused for a 
moment; saying nothing。 
“You must go in;” said Katharine; rousing herself。 “He’s 
waiting all this time to go on with his reading。” She 
glanced up at the lighted window near the top of the 
house; and they both looked at it and waited for a moment。 
A flight of semicircular steps ran up to the hall; 
and Mary slowly mounted the first two or three; and 
paused; looking down upon Katharine。 
“I think you underrate the value of that emotion;” she 
said slowly; and a little awkwardly。 She climbed another 
step and looked down once more upon the figure that 
was only partly lit up; standing in the street with a colorless 
face turned upwards。 As Mary hesitated; a cab came 
by and Katharine turned and stopped it; saying as she 
opened the door: 
“Remember; I want to belong to your society—remember;” 
she added; having to raise her voice a little; and 
shutting the door upon the rest of her words。 
Mary mounted the stairs step by step; as if she had to 
lift her body up an extremely steep ascent。 She had had 
to wrench herself forcibly away from Katharine; and every 
step vanquished her desire。 She held on grimly; encouraging 
herself as though she were actually making 
some great physical effort in climbing a height。 She was 
conscious that Mr。 Bast; sitting at the top of the stairs 
with his documents; offered her solid footing if she were 
capable of reaching it。 The knowledge gave her a faint 
sense of exaltation。 
Mr。 Bast raised his eyes as she opened the door。 
“I’ll go on where I left off;” he said。 “Stop me if you 
want anything explained。” 
He had been rereading the document; and making pencil 
notes in the margin while he waited; and he went on 
again as if there had been no interruption。 Mary sat down 
among the flat cushions; lit another cigarette; and lis
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tened with a frown upon her face。 
Katharine leant back in the corner of the cab that carried 
her to Chelsea; conscious of fatigue; and conscious; 
too; of the sober and satisfactory nature of such industry 
as she had just witnessed。 The thought of it posed 
and calmed her。 When she reached home she let herself 
in as quietly as she could; in the hope that the household 
was already gone to bed。 But her excursion had occupied 
less time than she thought; and she heard sounds 
of unmistakable liveliness upstairs。 A door opened; and 
she drew herself into a groundfloor room in case the 
sound meant that Mr。 Peyton were taking his leave。 From 
where she stood she could see the stairs; though she was 
herself invisible。 Some one was ing down the stairs; 
and now she saw that it was William Rodney。 He looked a 
little strange; as if he were walking in his sleep; his lips 
moved as if he were acting some part to himself。 He came 
down very slowly; step by step; with one hand upon the 
banisters to guide himself。 She thought he looked as if 
he were in some mood of high exaltation; which it made 
her unfortable to witness any longer unseen。 She 
stepped into the hall。 He gave a great start upon seeing 
her and stopped。 
“Katharine!” he exclaimed。 “You’ve been out?” he asked。 
“Yes… 。 Are they still up?” 
He did not answer; and walked into the groundfloor 
room through the door which stood open。 
“It’s been more wonderful than I can tell you;” he said; 
“I’m incredibly happy—” 
He was scarcely addressing her; and she said nothing。 
For a moment they stood at opposite sides of a table 
saying nothing。 Then he asked her quickly; “But tell me; 
how did it seem to you? What did you think; Katharine? 
Is there a chance that she likes me? Tell me; Katharine!” 
Before she could answer a door opened on the landing 
above and disturbed them。 It disturbed William excessively。 
He started back; walked rapidly into the hall; and 
said in a loud and ostentatiously ordinary tone: 
“Good night; Katharine。 Go to bed now。 I shall see you 
soon。 I hope I shall be able to e tomorrow。” 
Next moment he was gone。 She went upstairs and found 
Cassandra on the landing。 She held two or three books in 
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her hand; and she was stooping to look at others in a 
little bookcase。 She said that she could never tell which 
book she wanted to read in bed; poetry; biography; or 
metaphysics。 
“What do you read in bed; Katharine?” she asked; as 
they walked upstairs side by side。 
“Sometimes one thing—sometimes another;” said 
Katharine vaguely。 Cassandra looked at her。 
“D’you know; you’re extraordinarily queer;” she said。 “Every 
one seems to me a little queer。 Perhaps it’s the effect 
of London。” 
“Is William queer; too?” Katharine asked。 
“Well; I think he is a little;” Cassandra replied。 “Queer; 
but very fascinating。 I shall read Milton tonight。 It’s 
been one of the happiest nights of my life; Katharine;”
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