《6 the short second life of bree tanner布里·坦纳第二次短暂生命》第18章

make　out　Freaky　Fred　standing。　Looking　for　something　to　do？　Tired　of　sitting？　I　had　no　idea　what　he　was　up　to；　and　I　didn’t　care。　I　would　stick　tight　to　him　until　Riley　and　Diego　got　back。 In　the　middle　of　the　floor　was　a　smoldering　heap　that　was　too　big　to　be　just　a　leg　or　an　arm。　So　much　for　Riley’s　twenty　two。 No　one　seemed　terribly　concerned　about　the　smoking　remains。　The　sight　was　too　mon。 As　I　hurried　closer　to　Fred；　for　once　the　sense　of　disgust　didn’t　get　stronger。　Instead；　it　faded。　He　didn’t　seem　to　notice　me；　just　went　on　reading　the　book　he　held。　One　of　those　I’d　left　him　a　few　days　ago。　I　had　no　problem　seeing　what　he　was　doing　now　that　I　was　close　to　where　he　was　leaning　against　the　back　of　the　couch。　I　hesitated；　wondering　why　that　was。　Could　he　turn　his　nausea　thing　off　when　he　wanted？　Did　that　mean　we　both　were　unprotected　right　now？　At　least　Raoul　wasn’t　home　yet；　thankfully；　though　Kevin　was。 For　the　first　time　ever；　I　really　saw　what　Fred　looked　like。　He　was　tall；　maybe　six　two；　with　the　thick；　curly　blond　hair　I’d　noticed　once　before。　He　was　broadshouldered　and　muscular。　He　looked　older　than　most　of　the　otherslike　a　college　student；　not　a　high　school　kid。　Andthis　was　the　part　that　surprised　me　most　for　some　reason he　was　goodlooking。　As　handsome　as　anyone　else；　maybe　even　handsomer　than　most。　I　didn’t　know　
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why　that　was　so　trippy　for　me。　I　guessed　just　because　I　always　associated　him　with　revulsion。 I　felt　weird　for　staring。　I　glanced　quickly　around　the　room　to　see　if　anyone　had　noticed　that　Fred　was　normal and　prettyfor　the　moment。　No　one　was　looking　our　way。　I　stole　a　fast　peek　at　Kevin；　ready　to　shift　my　focus　at　once　if　he　noticed；　but　his　eyes　were　concentrated　on　some　point　to　the　left　of　where　we　stood。　He　was　frowning　slightly。　Before　I　could　look　away；　his　gaze　skipped　right　over　to　me　and　settled　on　my　right　side。　His　frown　deepened。　Like…　he　was　trying　to　see　me　and　couldn’t。 I　felt　the　corners　of　my　mouth　twitch　into　not　quite　a　grin。　There　was　too　much　to　worry　about　to　really　enjoy　Kevin’s　blindness。　I　looked　back　at　Fred；　wondering　if　the　grossout　factor　would　return；　only　to　see　that　he　was　smiling　with　me。　Smiling；　he　was　really　spectacular。 Then　the　moment　was　over；　and　Fred　went　back　to　his　book。　I　didn’t　move　for　a　while；　waiting　for　something　to　happen。　For　Diego　to　e　through　the　door。　Or　Riley　with　Diego。　Or　Raoul。　Or　for　the　nausea　to　hit　again；　or　for　Kevin　to　glare　in　my　direction；　or　for　the　next　fight　to　break　out。　Something。 When　nothing　did；　I　eventually　pulled　myself　together　and　did　what　I　should　have　been　doingpretending　nothing　unusual　was　going　on。　I　grabbed　a　book　from　the　pile　near　Fred’s　feet　and　then　sat　down　right　there　and　acted　like　I　was　reading。　It　was　probably　one　of　the　same　books　I’d　pretended　to　read　yesterday；　but　it　didn’t　look　familiar。　I　flipped　through　the　pages；　again　taking　nothing　in。 My　mind　was　racing　around　in　tight　little　circles。　Where　was　
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Diego？　How　had　Riley　reacted　to　his　story？　What　had　it　all　meant the　talk　before　the　cloaks；　the　talk　after　the　cloaks？ I　worked　through　it；　going　backward；　trying　to　assemble　the　pieces　into　a　recognizable　picture。　The　vampire　world　had　some　kind　of　police；　and　they　were　damn　scary。　This　wild　group　of　monthsold　vampires　was　supposed　to　be　an　army；　and　this　army　was　somehow　illegal。　Our　creator　had　an　enemy。　Strike　that；　two　enemies。　We　were　going　to　attack　one　of　them　in　five　days；　or　else　the　other　ones；　the　scary　cloaks；　were　going　to　attack　her　or　us；　or　both。　We　would　be　trained　for　this　attack…　as　soon　as　Riley　got　back。　I　snuck　a　glance　at　the　door；　then　forced　my　eyes　back　to　the　page　in　front　of　me。　And　then　the　stuff　before　the　visitors。　She　was　worrying　about　some　decision。　She　was　pleased　that　she　had　so　many　vampiresso　many　soldiers。　Riley　was　happy　that　Diego　and　I　had　survived…。　He’d　said　he　thought　he’d　lost　two　more　to　the　sun；　so　that　must　mean　he　didn’t　know　how　vampires　really　reacted　to　sunlight。　What　she’d　said　was　strange；　though。　She’d　asked　if　he　was　sure。　Sure　Diego　had　survived？　Or…　sure　that　Diego’s　story　was　true？ The　last　thought　frightened　me。　Did　she　already　know　that　the　sun　didn’t　hurt　us？　If　she　did　know；　then　why　had　she　lied　to　Riley　and；　through　him；　to　us？ Why　would　she　want　to　keep　us　in　the　dark　literally？　Was　it　very　important　to　her　that　we　stay　ignorant？　Important　enough　to　get　Diego　in　trouble？　I　was　working　myself　into　a　real　panic；　frozen　solid。　If　I　still　could　sweat；　I　would　have　been　sweating　now。　I　had　to　refocus　to　turn　the　next　page；　to　keep　my　eyes　
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down。 Was　Riley　deceived；　or　was　he　in　on　it；　too？　When　Riley’d　said　he　thought　he’d　lost　two　more　to　the　sun；　did　he　mean　the　sun　literally…　or　the　lie　about　the　sun？ If　it　was　the　second　option；　then　to　know　the　truth　meant　being　lost。　Panic　scattered　my　thoughts。 I　tried　to　be　rational　and　make　sense　of　it。　It　was　harder　without　Diego。　Having　someone　to　talk　to；　to　interact　with；　sharpened　my　ability　to　concentrate。　Without　that；　fear　sucked　at　the　edges　of　my　thoughts；　twisted　with　the　alwayspresent　thirst。　The　lure　of　blood　was　constantly　close　to　the　surface。　Even　now；　decently　well　fed；　I　could　feel　the　burn　and　the　need。 Think　about　her；　think　about　Riley　；　I　told　myself。　I　had　to　understand　why　they　would　lie if　they　were　lying　so　that　I　could　try　to　figure　out　what　it　would　mean　to　them　that　Diego　knew　their　secret。 If　they　hadn’t　lied；　if　they’d　just　told　us　all　that　the　day　was　as　safe　for　us　as　the　night；　how　would　that　change　things？　I　imagined　what　it　would　be　like　if　we　didn’t　have　to　be　contained　in　a　blackedout　basement　all　day；　if　the　twentyone　of　usmaybe　fewer　now；　depending　on　how　the　hunting　parties　were　getting　alongwere　free　to　do　what　we　wanted　whenever　we　wanted　to。 We　would　want　to　hunt。　That　was　a　given。 If　we　didn’t　have　to　e　back；　if　we　didn’t　have　to　hide…　well；　many　of　us　wouldn’t　e　back　very　regularly。　It　was　hard　to　focus　on　the　return　while　the　thirst　was　in　charge。　But　Riley　had　drilled　so　deeply　into　all　of　us　the　threat　of　burning；　of　a　
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return　of　that　hideous　pain