《道林格雷的画像》第3章

〃the　story　is　simply　this；〃　said　the　painter　after　some　time。　〃two　months　ago　i　went　to　a　crush　at　lady　brandons。　you　know　we　poor　artists　have　to　show　ourselves　in　society　from　time　to　time；　just　to　remind　the　public　that　we　are　not　savages。　with　an　evening　coat　and　a　white　tie；　as　you　told　me　once；　anybody；　even　a　stock…broker；　can　gain　a　reputation　for　being　civilized。　well；　after　i　had　been　in　the　room　about　ten　minutes；　talking　to　huge　overdressed　dowagers　and　tedious　academicians；　i　suddenly　became　conscious　that　some　one　was　looking　at　me。　i　turned　half…way　round　and　saw　dorian　gray　for　the　first　time。　when　our　eyes　met；　i　felt　that　i　was　growing　pale。　a　curious　sensation　of　terror　came　over　me。　i　knew　that　i　had　e　face　to　face　with　some　one　whose　mere　personality　was　so　fascinating　that；　if　i　allowed　it　to　do　so；　it　would　absorb　my　whole　nature；　my　whole　soul；　my　very　art　itself。　i　did　not　want　any　external　influence　in　my　life。　you　know　yourself；　harry；　how　independent　i　am　by　nature。　i　have　always　been　my　own　master；　had　at　least　always　been　so；　till　i　met　dorian　gray。　then……but　i　dont　know　how　to　explain　it　to　you。　something　seemed　to　tell　me　that　i　was　on　the　verge　of　a　terrible　crisis　in　my　life。　i　had　a　strange　feeling　that　fate　had　in　store　for　me　exquisite　joys　and　exquisite　sorrows。　i　grew　afraid　and　turned　to　quit　the　room。　it　was　not　conscience　that　made　me　do　so：　it　was　a　sort　of　cowardice。　i　take　no　credit　to　myself　for　trying　to　escape。〃
〃conscience　and　cowardice　are　really　the　same　things；　basil。　conscience　is　the　trade…name　of　the　firm。　that　is　all。〃
〃i　dont　believe　that；　harry；　and　i　dont　believe　you　do　either。　however；　whatever　was　my　motive……and　it　may　have　been　pride；　for　i　used　to　be　very　proud……i　certainly　struggled　to　the　door。　there；　of　course；　i　stumbled　against　lady　brandon。　you　are　not　going　to　run　away　so　soon；　mr。　hallward？　she　screamed　out。　you　know　her　curiously　shrill　voice？〃
〃yes；　she　is　a　peacock　in　everything　but　beauty；〃　said　lord　henry；　pulling　the　daisy　to　bits　with　his　long　nervous　fingers。
〃i　could　not　get　rid　of　her。　she　brought　me　up　to　royalties；　and　people　with　stars　and　garters；　and　elderly　ladies　with　gigantic　tiaras　and　parrot　noses。　she　spoke　of　me　as　her　dearest　friend。　i　had　only　met　her　once　before；　but　she　took　it　into　her　head　to　lionize　me。　i　believe　some　picture　of　mine　had　made　a　great　success　at　the　time；　at　least　had　been　chattered　about　in　the　penny　newspapers；　which　is　the　nineteenth…century　standard　of　immortality。　suddenly　i　found　myself　face　to　face　with　the　young　man　whose　personality　had　so　strangely　stirred　me。　we　were　quite　close；　almost　touching。　our　eyes　met　again。　it　was　reckless　of　me；　but　i　asked　lady　brandon　to　introduce　me　to　him。　perhaps　it　was　not　so　reckless；　after　all。　it　was　simply　inevitable。　we　would　have　spoken　to　each　other　without　any　introduction。　i　am　sure　of　that。　dorian　told　me　so　afterwards。　he；　too；　felt　that　we　were　destined　to　know　each　other。〃
〃and　how　did　lady　brandon　describe　this　wonderful　young　man？〃　asked　his　panion。　〃i　know　she　goes　in　for　giving　a　rapid　precis　of　all　her　guests。　i　remember　her　bringing　me　up　to　a　truculent　and　red…faced　old　gentleman　covered　all　over　with　orders　and　ribbons；　and　hissing　into　my　ear；　in　a　tragic　whisper　which　must　have　been　perfectly　audible　to　everybody　in　the　room；　the　most　astounding　details。　i　simply　fled。　i　like　to　find　out　people　for　myself。　but　lady　brandon　treats　her　guests　exactly　as　an　auctioneer　treats　his　goods。　she　either　explains　them　entirely　away；　or　tells　one　everything　about　them　except　what　one　wants　to　know。〃
〃poor　lady　brandon！　you　are　hard　on　her；　harry！〃　said　hallward　listlessly。
〃my　dear　fellow；　she　tried　to　found　a　salon；　and　only　succeeded　in　opening　a　restaurant。　how　could　i　admire　her？　but　tell　me；　what　did　she　say　about　mr。　dorian　gray？〃
〃oh；　something　like；　charming　boy……poor　dear　mother　and　i　absolutely　inseparable。　quite　forget　what　he　does……afraid　he……　doesnt　do　anything……oh；　yes；　plays　the　piano……or　is　it　the　violin；　dear　mr。　gray？　neither　of　us　could　help　laughing；　and　we　became　friends　at　once。〃
〃laughter　is　not　at　all　a　bad　beginning　for　a　friendship；　and　it　is　far　the　best　ending　for　one；〃　said　the　young　lord；　plucking　another　daisy。
hallward　shook　his　head。　〃you　dont　understand　what　friendship　is；　harry；〃　he　murmured……〃or　what　enmity　is；　for　that　matter。　you　like　every　one；　that　is　to　say；　you　are　indifferent　to　every　one。〃
〃how　horribly　unjust　of　you！〃　cried　lord　henry；　tilting　his　hat　back　and　looking　up　at　the　little　clouds　that；　like　ravelled　skeins　of　glossy　white　silk；　were　drifting　across　the　hollowed　turquoise　of　the　summer　sky。　〃yes；　horribly　unjust　of　you。　i　make　a　great　difference　between　people。　i　choose　my　friends　for　their　good　looks；　my　acquaintances　for　their　good　characters；　and　my　enemies　for　their　good　intellects。　a　man　cannot　be　too　careful　in　the　choice　of　his　enemies。　i　have　not　got　one　who　is　a　fool。　they　are　all　men　of　some　intellectual　power；　and　consequently　they　all　appreciate　me。　is　that　very　vain　of　me？　i　think　it　is　rather　vain。〃
〃i　should　think　it　was；　harry。　but　according　to　your　category　i　must　be　merely　an　acquaintance。〃
〃my　dear　old　basil；　you　are　much　more　than　an　acquaintance。〃
〃and　much　less　than　a　friend。　a　sort　of　brother；　i　suppose？〃
〃oh；　brothers！　i　dont　care　for　brothers。　my　elder　brother　wont　die；　and　my　younger　brothers　seem　never　to　do　anything　else。〃
〃harry！〃　exclaimed　hallward；　frowning。
〃my　dear　fellow；　i　am　not　quite　serious。　but　i　cant　help　detesting　my　relations。　i　suppose　it　es　from　the　fact　that　none　of　us　can　stand　other　people　having　the　same　faults　as　ourselves。　i　quite　sympathize　with　the　rage　of　the　english　democracy　against　what　they　call　the　vices　of　the　upper　orders。　the　masses　feel　that　drunkenness；　stupidity；　and　immorality　should　be　their　own　special　property；　and　that　if　any　one　of　us　makes　an　ass　of　himself；　he　is　poaching　on　their　preserves。　when　poor　southwark　got　into　the　divorce　court；　their　indignation　was　quite　magnificent。　and　yet　i　dont　suppose　that　ten　per　cent　of　the　proletariat　live　correctly。〃
〃i　dont　agree　with　a　sin