He raked a hand through his hair。 〃I know what you must be thinking about me； but you"re wrong。 It"s unfair of you to blame me for what happened to Jeff。〃 Anne had never blamed him for the crash。 But before she could tell him that； he said； 〃It wasn"t until February； when you were so sick and had that nightmare about the accident and mentioned the court hearing； that I began to wonder if there was a connection。 Contrary to your assumption； I did not run right back to New York to check it out。〃 He turned away and approached the hearth。 With an arm on its mantel； and a foot on the ashstrewn grate； he was silent for several minutes。 〃I didn"t want to know；〃 he finally said。 〃My guilt feelings about that accident were bad enough； without having to bear your scorn。〃 But he was missing the point！ She didn"t blame him for the accident！ That wasn"t the problem！ He went on without turning。 〃I was tortured ing back here in March。 I knew I had to be with you； but I also knew you might hate me even more afterward。〃 He pushed a hand through his hair。 〃You were bound to learn the truth sooner or later。 I wanted to tell you myself I just 。。。 couldn"t。〃 Slowly he turned to face her。 His eyes held unfathomable pain。 〃When we made love； Anne； it was magnificent。 We might fight about little things； but when we came together that day； it was heaven。 I kept thinking that if you knew how much I loved you； you"d forgive me。 If I could have prevented that accident；〃 he said on a note of defeat； 〃I would have； believe me； I would have。〃 〃I never blamed you for that crash！〃 〃The guilt has been unbearable；〃 he said as though he hadn"t heard her。 〃It"s irrational and unjustified； but it"s real。 You have no idea。 Between the plane and the car。。 。〃 He shook his head。 Anne was missing something。 Quietly； she said； 〃What car？〃 He turned away； took a shuddering breath； straightened in resignation。 〃My wife was killed in an automobile accident three weeks before that plane crash。 It was late at night。 The roads were icy。 Our car was hit head on by a man who"d had too much to drink。〃 He looked back over his shoulder。 〃I was at the wheel。〃 Anne stared dumbly at him； and suddenly she was the one overwhelmed with grief She hadn"t asked how Mitch"s wife had died； because that was against the rules。 But she should have known that the death of a young woman would be tragic no matter how it occurred。 〃It wasn"t your fault；〃 she reasoned。 His eyes flashed。 〃I was driving！ If only I"d driven slower or faster； or taken a different route。〃 He hung his head。 When he raised it again； his anger was spent。 〃Remember the nightmare you had？ Mine was no dream。 I was able to pull Bey out of the car； only to watch her die in my arms。 There was nothing I could do。 A battered arm was the least of my punishment。 The plane crash seemed an extension of it。 Then〃…he pressed his lips together and nodded…〃then I found you。〃 Anne swallowed hard。 He wandered across the room； seeming aimless； as though it didn"t matter where he went。 She had never seen him like this； had never heard his voice so bleak or so sad。 〃I had fallen in love with you long before I made the connection between Jeff"s death and my airline。 In an odd way； I felt you were my only chance at happiness； at building a new life。 I was terrified of losing you。 I didn"t know what would happen when I told you what I knew。 I wanted to think you"d understand； but the stakes were so high。〃 He turned to face her； earnest now。 〃I never lied to you about the crash； Anne。 I just didn"t tell you the whole truth。 It"s tormented me for months。 But the longer the deception went on； the worse my sin and the greater the risk of ing clean。 I was afraid that once you knew； you"d despise me。〃 For a long and heartrending moment； he stared at her。 Then he cursed softly。 〃What"s； what"s the use。 It"s happened； and I deserve it。 I was too blinded by my own need to see to yours。〃 He took a ragged breath。 〃I just wonder when the punishment will end。〃 Turning on his heel； he stalked out of the room； leaving Anne alone and in shock。 The slam of the back door jolted her； but even then it was a minute before she could move。 Bolting up； she ran after him out of the house； stumbling on the steps； catching herself and running on。 The hammer of her heart made breathing difficult； but she didn"t stop。 He was fast disappearing into the woods。 Frantically she followed； running on through the low growth until she reached a clearing。 He sat there with his back to her； brooding among the dandelions。 The sun glanced off his hair in sparkles； but his hunched form was grim。 〃Mitch？〃 She crept nearer。 〃Mitch； I"m sorry； so sorry。〃 She tried to touch him； but pulled back when he flinched。 So she hunkered down inches behind him and said； 〃I"ve been wrong。 Please forgive me。 It was cruel of me not to listen； not to even ask questions； but it hurt to know that there was so much I didn"t know； after everything that we"d shared。 Because of what we"d shared； I should have given you the chance to explain； but I loved you so much。 Finding out who you were like that was awful。 Try to understand。〃 This time when she touched his shoulder； he allowed it。 〃I"ve always been nayve；〃 she explained not to make excuses for herself； but so that Mitch would know more。 〃My life was easy and happy and charmed。 Maybe I felt immune to tragedy。 I"d never known any； not until the crash； and then I couldn"t believe Jeff was gone。 It couldn"t happen to me。〃 She moved closer。 〃Then I found you。 I love you； Mitch。 I fought it for a long time。 I was afraid of suffering the kind of pain I had suffered loving Jeff and losing him。 When I saw you in that lawyer"s office； the two worlds came together。 I should have trusted you。 I should have known that there was an explanation。 So help me； I was afraid to listen。 Maybe I was punishing myself。 Maybe I was feeling guilty for finding happiness with you。〃 Her voice broke。 His eyes met hers； then； and they were filled with the same vulnerability she felt。 It gave her the strength to finish。 〃My God； Mitch； haven"t